Dear Blog,
It's at Target and it's a clearance item, so get here with a quickness. Also, my friend told me that she saw a used Duraflame log-splitter for sale on craigslist the other day. What would that even be? A dirty cinder block you found in your building's basement that night you were really cold and found out faux logs don't fit in your fist-sized fireplace?
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