Blog of Nambot

Cheap, Not Free

Dear Blog,

In the last year, it has become apparent that our country, which was at one time purportedly "free," is free no longer and has been sliding toward the bed-pooping moment in which we now find ourselves for the last forty years or so. By bed-pooping I mean economic instability (thanks Nixon for taking us off the gold standard!), corporate takeover (thanks Reagan for privatizing everything, imprisoning everyone, and letting drug violence and AIDS kill your least-favorites!), election-heisting dictatorship, and a not-too savvy elimination of civil liberties. Our government has always been a business, but this never bothered most americans until recently, when we collectively realized that our dollars weren't worth two bits, and our financial system looked about as patched together as the Joad family truckster. Did the smartest guys in the room just pay themselves to go to war with our worthless (tax) dollars? Crap!

Q: Hey, where'd our $520,000,000,000 go? Do you guys still have that, because none of the kids on my block know how to read or write and their school looks like a prison.

Meanwhile, there are so many European tourists in New York City this spring, I'm beginning to gravitate toward asymmetrical hair. Perhaps some of our friends from across the pond will buy our whole city, enslave us with a little more tact, and teach our kids how to pass the ball when they play soccer. The world's greatest city is now available at rock-bottom prices, and though we're certainly not free, we are cRaZY cheap.

If I could make one request of the whoremongers who purchase our dysfunctional country, it is that you folks always remember the funny movies and TV shows we exported to you for so long. Not only are you getting a sweet deal on our infrastructure and our people – labor... I mean labor – you're also buying the world's most talented all-singing, all-dancing citizenry, and we are eager to please. Remember that time we depicted people from your country in our films and they were villains with bad accents? Remember when americans seemed rebellious and cool because we were rich from pillaging "our" land and imperializing? Maybe you'll still think we're cool five years from now when our country reverts to the Wild West.

Ah, I can't wait.

Love,
nambot